Episode 001 - Introduction to the Loving Differently Podcast
🎙️ Episode Overview
The first episode serves as both an introduction to the hosts and an origin story for Interpersonal Reconstructive Therapy (IRT). It introduces the intellectual and personal roots of the podcast’s title, Loving Differently, and situates the show as an exploration of how people can change maladaptive patterns of love, attachment, and relating.
🧩 Major Themes
1. Origins and Spirit of IRT
Dr. Critchfield recounts his academic lineage under Lorna Smith Benjamin, creator of IRT and the SASB (Structural Analysis of Social Behavior) model.
The discussion traces how IRT evolved from Benjamin’s early work mapping interpersonal patterns to a systematic framework for psychotherapy.
Both hosts emphasize IRT as a principles-based approach that tailors treatment to individual histories rather than adhering to standardized techniques.
2. From Science to Meaning
Critchfield describes his attraction to IRT through its empirical rigor and measurement systems, while Stukarazovsky describes entering from the opposite direction—deeply experiential, humanistic, and meaning-centered training.
Their meeting represents a fusion of scientific structure and interpersonal heart—a microcosm of IRT itself.
3. The “Courtroom Mentality” vs. Curiosity
A recurring metaphor: moving away from a “courtroom” mentality of blame and moral judgment (“who’s the asshole?”) toward curiosity and understanding of relational dynamics.
Pathological or self-destructive behaviors are reframed as misdirected love stories rather than moral failings.
4. The Gift of Love and Attachment
Central IRT concepts—the gift of love, copy process, and attachment patterns—are explored.
They discuss how people repeat early relational templates out of a need for safety or love, even when those patterns cause harm.
The podcast title, Loving Differently, embodies the therapeutic goal: learning to love with awareness, transforming painful repetitions into healthier relational patterns.
5. Humanizing Personality Disorders
Both hosts express a passion for de-stigmatizing personality disorders, framing them as trauma-based relational adaptations rather than moral or character flaws.
They advocate for empathy and individualized understanding over pathologizing labels.
6. Interpersonal Community and Training
They reflect on building community among IRT practitioners and the value of supervision, consultation, and mutual learning.
The podcast aims to serve as a “containing space” for clinicians and students exploring IRT principles.
💡 Philosophical Takeaways
Everything is a love story. Even maladaptive patterns emerge from efforts to connect.
Therapy is relational art informed by structure.
Understanding replaces judgment.
Love can be measured, studied, and transformed—without losing its humanity.
📚 Looking Ahead
Future episodes will:
Break down IRT and SASB concepts (e.g., “the gift of love,” “green vs. red zones”).
Explore personality disorder templates through an IRT lens.
Discuss applied clinical examples.
Offer a blend of scholarly insight and conversational accessibility for therapists-in-training.